Carpathia IV: Episode 187 - Finding Peace
Amenaru's House, The In-between
Mrs. Tiggywinkle: Welcome back, dickhead.
Amenaru heard the words, but he needed time to think, for everything came back to him all at once. He knew his life before he changed it. He knew the life he made. He remembered everything that led to this moment and the sudden return of all this caused him mental whiplash. Still, through it all, one immediate thought came to the fore.
Amenaru: Did you just call me "dickhead?"
Mrs. Tiggywinkle blinked, a full face-squish blink, and looked away, holding her paw up to her mouth.
Mrs. Tiggywinkle: It seems I did. Whatever your life became affected me too. What happened?
Amenaru told all that he knew of the half day he spent in his new life, which was all he could tell. Perhaps he wasn't there long enough to have full recollection of his new past, but that didn't matter. This, perhaps, was a blessing, as that half day was quite enough.
Mrs. Tiggywinkle: There's always risk in changing something too far back. You never know what the consequences will be. In this case, the consequences went way beyond you.
Choking back tears, Amenaru found it difficult to speak.
Amenaru: What do I do? Can't I change something else instead?
Before Amenaru even finished, Tiggy was already shaking her head.
Mrs. Tiggywinkle: I'm sorry, Amenaru. Things are screwed up bad enough as it is. You could spend an eternity changing things and it will only get worse. Besides, I don't have permission. I do have permission to make you another offer. You can go back and change your past back to the way it was.
Amenaru: But then I'd be...
Mrs. Tiggywinkle: Dead, yes. Look, before you decide, why don't you go outside. There's someone you should meet first.
Amenaru's ears slid up his head and swiveled forward, both curious and horrified. Through it all, the only thing he could think of was, "Who died?" Amenaru looked behind him at the front door and then back to Tiggy, who flipped her paw at him, urging him forward.
Mrs. Tiggywinkle: Off you go, then.
Amenaru turned toward the front door and plodded forward, wondering what awaited him on the other side. He paused as he placed his hand on the doorknob, in no mood at all for any more surprises. With a deep breath, he twisted the knob and stepped outside. Right away, it was unmistakeable who Tiggy wanted him to see.
Amenaru: Oh no.
Blue: Oh no.
Amenaru trotted down the porch stairs and through the gate before skidding to a halt. Where, exactly, does one hug a dragon? Not many things he could wrap his arms around, besides his ears.
Blue: Seems time finally got me. I was wondering why I was asked to come here and now I know. What happened?
Amenaru hung his head and sat on the step just outside the gate. Blue lowered himself down too, until he was flat on his belly, a relief for Amenaru, for now he didn't have to strain his neck to look up at him. With everyone comfy, Amenaru told Blue everything, starting from how he died to the offer from Tiggy, his experience in his new life, and the latest offer.
Blue: I see. And now you're faced with an impossible choice.
Amenaru shook his head slowly.
Amenaru: Not impossible. I know what I have to do. The change that I made only lead to misery. I don't want that life and I don't want everyone I know dead. Tiggy said that I would forget my old life and the new one would take over but I feel like I would still remember somewhere deep down. Still...
Blue: You don't want to die, of course.
Amenaru shook his head again, this time with a sniffle and tears. It was one thing to think it, but another for someone to say it out loud.
Blue: Tell me, was your life a story well-told? Your original life, that is.
Amenaru opened his mouth to speak but closed it again, ears flitting about on top of his head. On its face, an easy yes or no question, but not so easy when it came time to answer.
Blue: Take your time. We appear to have plenty of it.
Amenaru: Not exactly. I wouldn't want you to become a specter.
Blue: Oh, worry not about me. I have no intentions of staying. I had a miserable life through most of it, don't you know, hiding from Wishmaster for over a thousand years. At least I was able to make a good story out of it in the last few hundred. I cross over with some regret, but mostly satisfaction.
Amenaru half-listened, but was also preoccupied with how he might give his own answer. Blue, with his little speech, gave him enough time.
Amenaru: Well, my life wasn't boring. I wasn't perfect, but I think I made a good account of myself. I especially hope that I meant something to Kit. His story wasn't his own for so long and he's just getting started.
Blue smiled a gnarled, toothy grin and nodded.
Blue: Well-answered, and I am sure you meant something to all who knew you, especially Kit. He will keep you in his thoughts and heart always. With that, I hope you can go in peace.
In peace, perhaps, but not without tears, for now Amenaru's eyes were cascading. He got to his feet and approached. Still unsure how to hug a dragon, he settled for rubbing Blue's nose, which he seemed to appreciate immensely.
Amenaru: I will go in peace and I hope you will too. I know you will be a legend on Ramewet and Carpathia for generations.
Blue: May we meet again.
Amenaru: I hope so.
It took great effort for Amenaru to peel himself away from Blue, who also appeared to be in no rush, content to keep his massive head on the ground for Amenaru to pet. Still, leave he must and he turned slowly, up the step and through the gate. He turned back to have one more look, but Blue was gone. There was nothing left but to see what lies in the great beyond.
Inside the house, he found Tiggy just where he left her.
Amenaru: I'm going to put everything back the way it was. It's the only right thing to do.
Mrs. Tiggywinkle: I understand. The portal is already waiting.
Amenaru turned his gaze briefly to the back of the house and then back to Tiggy.
Amenaru: I suppose I'll be back here soon.
Mrs. Tiggywinkle: I'll be here when you get back.
Once again, Amenaru strode to the back door and, filled with purpose, opened it.
Dive Bar, Andrast
Amenaru found himself back where he was before, at exactly the same instant he arrived before. As last time, he struggled to pick up the drumbeat and played poorly, distracted, like before, thinking more about how he would play the next hour than about his drums. He decided it was best to play everything as authentically as possible. It would be weird for him to go up to Nut and ask for drugs. After all, he still disliked Nut, but last time through proved that Nut would offer no matter what anyway. He just had to wait for that moment.
Again, when the set ended, he immediately made for the tour bus. Again, he got himself a smoke and plopped himself on the couch, absentmindedly tapping his drumstick on the cushion. Then, Nut entered, staggering up the stairs and the same conversation ensued. Amenaru's heart rate increased the closer they got to the critical moment. Finally, it came. Nut popped the vial and spread two lines of powder on the coaster and offered it to him.
Nut: You need something to loosen up. Try this!
As Nut held out the coaster in his paw, Amenaru summoned his courage. He thought of Kit. He thought of the Shadowdancer. He thought of his crewmates. He thought of himself and what Blue said. His was a short story, but a story well-told indeed. Chaotic but full of life. Happiness. Sadness. Pain. Exhilaration. This time, Amenaru grabbed the coaster and straw from Nut's paw like he'd just been offered a solid gold bar.
Amenaru: Gimme that!
Nut recoiled in surprise and grinned devilishly as Amenaru snorted up an entire line before he could even respond.
Nut: Hey, go easy on that stuff! I got plenty more, you know.
Amenaru finished the second line and tipped his head back, letting that old, familiar narcotic take effect.
Nut: I think you're ready for the after party. Let's go!
The last thing Amenaru remembered was Nut wrapping his arms around his body and lifting to his feet just before the white light once again enveloped him.
Commissioned art in this episode from:
AvareonArt
Zelbunnii
Less_End
Thatwildmary
Colourbrand
Falke2009
